Why do Americans say “take a pee” and “take a dump”? We’re not taking anything. The Brits are only slightly better, with “having a dump.” I suppose it’s like “having” a baby, except when we have a baby, we keep it around, usually, so we actually have it, as opposed to promptly flushing it and having nothing.

Maybe we should switch to “leaving” or “dropping”, but “leaving a pee” just doesn’t roll off the tongue, does it? And “leaving a dump” sounds like you just dropped your garbage at the landfill.

And don’t even get me started on how we drive on a parkway, but park on a driveway.